You don't have to don CoverGirl to feel easy and breezy. In fact, I highly suggest you don't. Why? Because that's one less mask to steal your time as you come into who you are.
In a few days, the elusive timekeeper will rise from her bed, slip into a pair of comfy slippers, shrug on her beat-up, but warm, fuzzy robe and close out on a year we'll never see again. *creativity or insanity, you decide*
While she's shuffling to make that change, some of us will come up with things we plan to do to make 2008 brighter than in years' past. In some of those things, we'll succeed, in others, we'll probably get close but not close enough to make us feel as if we accomplished our mission. And that's okay, because life is a series of feats, each with its own take-away lessons.
Some of us are so afraid of losing that the trying is too difficult to comprehend. But I beg to differ on what a loss constitutes. Anytime I hear people state what they're afraid to do, I know it goes back to losing, to not succeeding as they feel they should be suceeding. And more than likely, they've done a side-by-side comparison of someone else's idea of success. A no-win situation.
Try as we might, we can't be someone else. The only perfection we have is in being our imperfect selves and realizing when our losses are really wins and our wins really losses. <homage begins>Rosie Perez's character in White Men Can't Jump: "Sometimes when you win, you really lose, and when you lose, you really win."</homage ends>
That's me in a nutshell. In times I thought surely I was winning, I found my reward to be bittersweet. In times when I chalked it up to a loss, the lessons I took away proved too valuable to be defined as such.
I look forward to 2008, not so much because it offers new opportunities, but because it offers me the opportunity to continue working the opportunities I've been developing over the years. When I take a look back at my life I don't see me wanting to purge myself of my past and start anew.
Life is about taking the past, present and future and tying them together in ways that make us whole. <homage begins>Kanye West: "Everything I'm not made me everything I am."</homage ends> So, I want the good and I want the bad that has been my life. I want it to continue shaping me, even after the timekeeper has returned to her bed to await the dawning of another year.
And at the end of this year, just as in others, I plan to continue reDefining who I am and all that I stand to be. I highly suggest that if nothing else, you concentrate on reDefining you, too. And why not? You've got a past and present just waiting to get entangled with your future in an easy, breezy sort of way. ;-)
Happy 2008 to you all!!!
Hubby: We got any married friends?
Me: Yep . . . a few.
Hubby: Well, why we don't hang out with 'em?
Me: Don't know. I guess 'cause they don't do much together, and they always sayin' they broke.
Hubby: Hmm . . .
Me: But they dress nice.
The minute we turn on the television or the radio, there's news about, yet, another black-on-black episode. I've gotten to the point where I can no longer just sigh, because sighing has become bad for my health.
So, instead of sighing, I began thinking: What can we do to prevent these occurrences? What is the stimulus for these occurrences? Is it really true that black-on-black violence happens more frequently than, say, dominican-on-dominican, indian-on-indian, mexican-on-mexican or white-on-white? Are we truly more violent than any other race?
Or is it more highly visible in media, because it tends to sway us from the true issues regarding why this violence occurs in the first place? Or is it so because the media wish us to have a darkened perspective of who we are?
So, when I began thinking these things, I decided to take a few days to scour the media for instances of white-on-white violence. Why W.O.W.? Glad you asked. You see, it's because the majority of media are owned lock, stock and smoking barrel BY whites, so it's only natural it would portray events that affect them most, right?
Ahh, but that's where we go wrong in our thinking. How are they going to maintain domination, if they air their dirty laundry for the world to see without making you think it's totally your dirty laundry?
History shows that crimes are usually a direct result of the societal influence. Crime fits the environment, in other words. Since these folks have placed themselves in charge (and we've left them there, despite their inability to lead), wouldn't what we see be a direct reflection of how others are expected to react when caged in the yard of a negligent owner?
It's like caging a dog. Let him out after a period of neglect, and he's not the same dog you caged. He's vicious, he's ferocious, he's vindictive, he'll even tear his cellmate apart. Yep, sounds like Amerikkan criminality to me.
With all the negativity filling the airwaves about one group of people, in particular, I felt it only right to give another group of people (Amerikka's self-imposed leaders) an avenue to air their instances of violence. I mean, why should we be alone in this?
Below are just a few W.O.W. moments, as I do my best to offer a more balanced view of the propaganda that is leaked so freely in Amerikkan media:
- Woman Charged in Sister's Murder
- Serial killer pig farmer found guilty of murders
- Caregiver Faces Murder Charges in Woman's Death
- Man Opens Fire, Kills 2 at New Life Church in Colorado Springs
- A Gunman's Bloody Trail: from hate mail to mass murder
- 'Deeply Wounded' Omaha steeps in grief
- Relative of Davy Crockett, 5, kills bear (Okay, this isn't W.O.W., but it's an example of how they violently kill things they aren't going to eat and, for some of them, the black bear may unconsciously symbolize the gunning down of a black man. I'm just saying . . .)
By all accounts, media accounts, that is, Michael Vick is a fallen star. Someone who has bitten the dust so far, the light from his star can no longer be seen.
But I disagree. I see something different for Vick. I see an opportunity for him to break from the very system that assisted in his downfall. That led him to believe he was perched so high as to never fall.
That would indeed have to be a different Vick. One whose spirit jail bars cannot dim. That a black-and-white "uniform" cannot extinguish.
If Vick is to ever rise again, and I sincerely believe he can, he will have to shun what we have come to know as mainstream. He will have to shun those who do not have his best interests at heart, be they supposed friend or foe. He will have to realize that these people only wanted him for what the sheer strength of his black labor could provide--a profit.
To be a man, a true black man, means cutting the negative influences, the material addictions, the idle use of the brain and planning for a future, for him, his family and generations to come.
Any black man not willing to do that will soon end up in straits similar to Vick's. And for all those who believe they are nothing like Vick, don't get it twisted. While your jail may not come with bars or conjugal visits, doesn't by any means, mean you're free.
Not only do I send this message to Vick, knowing he may never read it, but to my own sons. I want them to know that fitting into this system that pretends to embrace you, while seeking the achilles tendon, can and will destroy you.
So, yes, I still see Vick's star. Question is, does he?
I have already succeeded. I have already succeeded. I have already succeeded. I have already succeeded. I have already succeeded. I have already succeeded. I have already succeeded. I have already succeeded. I have already succeeded. I have already succeeded. I have already. . . .
I've been a little bothered by my people. People of color, that is. If I may backtrack a little: I grew up in a small town in Louisiana--Opelousas, it's called. In that town, it was an unspoken thing that whenever you passed someone's house--no matter how many times you passed that day--you spoke.
I hated that with a passion. So much so that sometimes I'd completely change my route to avoid folks who sat out on their front porches all day, earning me the title of anti-social. As I grew older, I resented this more and more.
As a young girl, my mother's rule was that if "you walk by such and such's house and they tell me you didn't speak, it's gonna be me and you." Why did I have to speak every time, I'd ask, only to be given a sharp glare which meant "because I said so."
What my immature brain couldn't process then was that this was the respectful, neighborly thing to do. This was how extended families and networks were formed and maintained. This is what made it safe for me to walk the streets, if "dark" caught me. Today, I miss those days, when everybody knew everybody. When folks drove by your house, honked their horns and you knew who they were.
People still do that in some parts of Opelousas, save those where materialistic influences by way of media propaganda, coercion and persuasion have taken over. But they haven't did that in many of the cities and towns I've lived in since then. My neighbors are complete strangers to me, and I to them. Some folks might say, "Well, it's like that for white people, too."
While that's true, this was never true for black families. We come from a heritage of block parties, family reunions, wakes and repasses. We come from church on Sunday and Bible study on Wednesday. We come from people who fed complete strangers, even taking them in and treating them like family. 'Til this day I have "cousins" who I thought were blood-related, but were actually just raised by someone in our family when their parents couldn't or wouldn't raise them. That's where we come from.
But each day I turn into my driveway and watch the garage door close behind me, I can't help but think that if I lived in Opelousas my neighbors would wave from the beginning of my trek into my neighborhood until I arrived at my house. They'd be able to tell me who came when I wasn't home, how long my kids were riding their bikes when they were supposed to be inside doing homework, and anything else of interest that happened while I was away.
So, what does that have to do with my original statement that my people bother me? It has a lot to do with it. Because those same people I speak of, who look like me, share a similar culture with me, won't even acknowledge me on the street, let alone in the neighborhood I share with them. Seems we've all gotten so busy striving to attain the european/Amerikkan dream of home ownership, materialistic possessions, etc., that we forgot who we were.
The farther we go forward without our past, I wonder . . . if we'll ever get it back.
I am not a victim. I am not a victim. I am not a victim. I am not a victim. I am not a victim. I am not a victim. I am not a victim. I am not a victim. I am not a victim. I am not a victim. I am not a victim. I am not a victim. I am not a victim. I am not a victim. I am not a victim. I am not a victim. I am not a victim. I am not a victim. I am not a victim. I am not a victim. I am not a victim. I am not a victim. I am not a victim. I am not. . . .
When was it? September, I believe, when I declared my 8-month challenge. The challenge that would push me out of the corporate/government world into a world I enjoyed more. One that gave me more time to spend with my family. One that offered greater possibilities and less in the way of glass ceilings imposed by those who need to hold on to their positions until retirement.
OK, that was a petty stab. ;-) But that doesn't change the fact that I'm not cut out to punch somebody's clock for life. Matter of fact, I've grown to dislike clocks.
Which reminds me of something monumental I recently did. My "work" watch's battery died just before Standard Time rolled around earlier this month. My first thought was to run out to Wally World or Tarjay and get another. Instead, I paused a moment and reveled in the feel of an empty wrist, a lighter wrist.
That morning I made a decision--I wouldn't be getting a battery. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be wearing a watch for a hot minute. I considered it my small way of ripping away the interconnected, stainless-steel chains of this invisible jailer.
Now, I can't say this will work for everybody, but since that day there's been a difference in my spirit. Like I've freed something within that was longing to get out. While it's only a tiny statement in the grand scheme of things, it's something momentous for me.
Care to share your small tokens of freedom that help you make it through?
I was talking to a co-worker the other day and we got onto the subject of religion. Mind you, this co-worker and I chit-chat quite a bit since she came on board, and we seem to get along well.
That is, until we hit the subject of religion the other day, and I finally offered my views on it. Please understand that each time we speak, she usually speaks on her beliefs, while I remain silent on my thoughts about the subject.
During the conversation I mentioned that I am not religious and have no religious affiliation. Her words to me were, "Well, we need to stop this conversation right now."
I brushed off her forwardness and told her, "It's because we don't embrace the same things that we should continue to talk."
My reasoning behind this is that as people, black people especially, we must learn to communicate with people from all walks. To only speak to those who believe in what you believe in on a religious level is practicing a high level of ignorance.
While I am not religious, I would never cast judgment on someone who chooses that avenue. That is a choice they made. A choice I once made. Just as I have now made the choice to not uphold any religion.
As the conversation continued, she became further infuriated because I stated that I was also not a follower of Jesus. I mean, how can I be a follower, if I don't embrace religion? That would border on hypocrisy.
Once again, I had to reassure her that my choosing to not follow Jesus had nothing to do with my spiritual connection and my understanding that someone, somewhere created us. The Yin and the Yang, the mother and the father. The cosmic balance, if you will.
It's a shame that people think that because they're Christians or whatever they choose to practice that this sets them apart from others. Makes them better. Makes any conversations with others mute.
A religion that doesn't teach love and consideration for all, is a religion that should be doubted and investigated. Now, I'm not placing that burden entirely on the shoulders of Christianity. I'm meaning this for any religion.
By the time we completed our conversation, she was feeling a little more comfortable with the situation, but the unmistakable tension was there. I was a "non-believer," and her Christian views just could not let her accept that anyone could think differently. That, to her, was blasphemy.
My point to all this is that until we can put aside our differences and come together in ways that unite us, we'll never make it--not just as people of color, but people, period. We're feeding into the hands of those who want to maintain power over all of us. These people need us to continue standing divided. That's how they keep us conquered.
Think about it: to stop speaking to a person because they don't embrace your particular religious belief system is just petty--not to mention a great divisive tool.
I originally sent this to my e-mail group yesterday. I figured people would read it and move on. So, I was completely surprised by how many took the time to respond. Quite a few relayed to me that they'd always felt that "artificial" time was upsetting their balance. My e-mail led some of them to really ponder this issue. Their responses led me to share it with you, and get your take. Now, for my e-mail: "What’s most interesting about this entry is the map. If we were to take an in-depth look at it, we can clearly see a correlation between life stresses and places where there is a such thing as Daylight Saving Time. Folks make fun of those who supposedly operate on “CP” time, but I think there’s a distinct relation between someone working according to a strict time system and an increase in stress hormones, and those who operate according to their body rhythms in conjunction with the sun and the moon. Anything artificial has to lend some amount of stress to our daily lives, because it takes us out of our natural state. Just something to think about."
- Has maintaining a structured schedule been a good or bad thing for you?
- Do you believe that clocks and other structured time systems cause more stress in our daily lives?
- Have you ever lived or visited anywhere that Daylight Saving Time was not observed? Was life less stressful?
- What were the people like who lived in those areas? Rushed? Relaxed? A mixture?
- Were those who were rushed more likely to come from states and countries where Daylight Saving Time is observed?
- Are you for or against Daylight Saving Time, and why?
- Are folks who operate on internal body clocks just plain lazy, or do you believe the pre-disposition to always be late may have genetic or cultural origins? Why do you think as you do?
- Are you always punctual for the most part, or always late?
